Close Your Eyes
by inkeepingsecrets
Summary: Based on the "I Will Remember You" episode of Angel. Buffy remembers in her dreams...


Close Your Eyes

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon's character's are not mine, of course. The lyrics incorporated in this fic belong to Something Corporate, it is a song called, "As You Sleep".

* * *

Bars of lunar light fell across the young woman's face as she twitched and turned suddenly in her sleep. Her golden hair fanned out around her head. She lay in a fitful slumber, tossing about her bed for hours while confronted with troubling and confusing images, unable to achieve that peaceful oblivion that slayers are so fond of. The smooth skin of her forehead creased with worry and perplexity as she slept. 

_"It's a good sound. Thump-thump. Thump-thump."_

_Close your eyes  
And I will be swimming  
Lullabies fill your room  
And I will be singing  
Singing to only you_

Her dreams never made much sense. In the morning she would lay awake recalling the flashes that had assaulted her as she slept. Jumbled images, it was like trying to read a book with missing pages. All Buffy knew was that every night since these dreams had started she had woken up with tears in her eyes and a sob in the back of her throat. Were these visions? Premonitions of something to come? She couldn't say. They felt...different than normal dreams do, but not in a foreboding kind of way. It was all so confusing.

_She lay in his bed, naked, a smile tugging on her lips perpetually. His arms enveloped her slight frame and she rested her head on his chest. She listened to his heartbeat; she felt the habitual rise and fall of his breath. His skin was hot against her cheek. Turning her head slightly, she placed a kiss over his heart..._

_"Peanut butter, preferably crunchy!" Laughter, happiness, food. Content._

**8:56**

_Don't forget I'll hold your head  
Watch the night sky fading red_

Buffy gasped for air as she shot bolt upright in bed. A thin sheen a sweat stretched over her brow and her eyes darted around her bedroom frantically. Through her shades she watched as the night sky lightened into the gray that tells of dawn approaching. The transformation of the sky to brilliant warm colors reflected in the pools of tears gathering in her eyes. As the sun finally popped over the horizon, Buffy let go and sobbed into her blankets.

_But as you sleep  
And no one is listening  
I will lift you off your feet  
And keep you from sinking_

Her superhuman muscles ached as Buffy dragged her feet into her bedroom and flopped down onto her bed, not bothering to change into night clothes. Her sore muscles were due more to a lack of propor sleep than to actual slayage. Within seconds of smashing her face into the pillows, Buffy had drifted off.

_"You're human for like a minute and already there is Cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip in the fridge."_

_"God, I love food."_

_I love your smile._

_God, Angel's smile made her heart swell. Too few times in their history had Buffy seen her love's face truly happy. That glint in his eyes with that toothy grin sent her stomach into cartwheels. Oh, this was the only time in her life Buffy had ever felt content; she'd never known such pure happiness was possible..._

_..."Another minute."_

_"A minute? No. No, it's not enough time!"_

_Don't you wake up yet  
Cause soon I'll be leaving you  
But you won't be leaving me_

"No...no, not enough...enough," Buffy mumbled as she tossed her body from side to side in a frantic slumber. Her features screwed up in frustation and outraged tears leaking from her tightly-shut eyes. She turned to one side and curled her legs up close to her body, rocking gently and muttering incoherently. It was in this condition that her eye lids fluttered open, shedding off sleep. As soon as Buffy realized where she was a torrent of emotions rained down upon her. She had no idea from where these tormented feelings were coming from. She stayed like that, curled up in a ball for many hours.

"Angel....Angel.......Angel...," she muttered his name under her breath as if it would bring comfort, and in a way it did. At least the tears had stopped.

_In the car  
The radio leaves me searching for your star  
A constellation of frustration  
Driving Hard  
Singing my thoughts back to me  
Like watching heartache on TV_

It wasn't often that Angel went for a drive. For one reason he preferred travel by sewer. But when he didn't want to see anyone (or slay anyone for that matter), when the only person on his mind was the one he denied to himself, he would drive into the night for a while. The sickly, yellow streetlights raced by in electric blurs as Angel navigated the streets of L.A. going nowhere in particular. The rythm of the road took hold of him and Angel fumbled with the radio controls, searching for something to block out his thoughts, his memories. His fingers hesitated, and withdrew from the dial when the soft sounds of _that _song reached his ears.

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away..._

"Oh God..."

Angel's grip on the steering wheel tightened as he listened to the song that he had danced with Buffy to at her prom. _It's just tonight, it doesn't mean..._

It had been only a week since his experience in being mortal...and being able to make love to Buffy, and though it was only one day, it was the happiest time of his entire life. He wondered if maybe he had been a bit selfish in keeping the memory for himself only. The thought of her shining face, perfectly content in finally having her _normal _boyfriend was enough to bring tears to his eyes. Would his heart always ache like this?

Hours later, Angel wasn't quite so surprised to find himself driving past a sign reading "Entering Sunnydale".

"Well...I guess the 'forgetting' plan worked out well..." he said aloud to himself. And, sooner than he could say crunchy peanut-butter, Angel found himself back into his old, Sunnydale habit of slinking around and stalking. He was outside Buffy Summers' bedroom window looking in at her sleeping form. From his spot, sitting upon a tree branch, Angel marveled at how peaceful she looked, that is, until she began thrashing around.

_But as you sleep  
And no one is listening  
I will lift you off your feet  
And keep you from sinking_

With worry written across his features, Angel entered Buffy's bedroom through her window. His dark figure looked ominous and looming as he crept silently to Buffy's bedside and slowly lowered himself to sit beside her. She continued to moan and turn in her sleep, at length Angel reached out his hand and brushed his fingertips across her cheek.

"Buffy..." he spoke,"Buffy...wake up it's...it's only a dream..."

At his touch and his voice, Buffy immidiately calmed and her eyes slowly opened, as if hesitant to discover that his presence was only imagined.

"Angel," her astonished voice was barely a whisper.

_"How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had? What we could have had?"_

_..."No. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget."_

With startling abruptness, Buffy let out a choked sob and threw herself into Angel's recieving arms.

"Oh, Angel...let me remember. Let me remember. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never-"

As he realized what Buffy was saying, Angel took her gently by the soldiers and held her away from him to look into her eyes,"What are you saying? You remember?"

Her face was broken as she spoke,"I think...I-I know there was something. We had something else, we could have had so much...but...it's lost. I need to remember. Oh God..."

"Shhh. Shhh, it's okay. It'll be alright, Buffy. You'll remember, don't worry," Angel held the girl to his chest and leaned back against the headboard of her bed, stroking her hair away from her tearful face.

"Tell me, Angel. Tell me what it was," Buffy muttered as sleep began to muddle her thoughts.

"Tomorrow...tomorrow. Sleep. Close your eyes."

_Don't you wake up yet  
Cause soon I'll be leaving you  
But you won't be leaving me_

He stayed there, holding her, for as long as he could. Eventually, when the scent on the air threatened him with a flaming, dusty death, Angel gently removed himself from the love of his life's embrace and slipped away from her room undetected. He got into his car and headed to the closest motel, to hold up until nightfall. There he sat, in a dark room wondering what the hell he was doing.

_Don't forget I'll hold your head  
Watch the night sky fading red_

The sun was high in the sky when Buffy finally awoke that morning, with none of the sorrow and torment of recent mornings. There was doubt though.

_Was it real? Was he even here or was it all just another dream?_

Of course, Buffy knew the answer to that, he had been there in her room, she could feel him in the air and smell his scent on her sheets. How else could she have actually gotten a good night's rest? But what really troubled her was whether or not he would be back. Like her dream-self, Buffy was tired of logic-ing herself out of the only love she'd ever have. Would he come back to her? He had promised to explain her dreams today, tonight. He had to come back.

Of course he would.

_But as you sleep  
And no one is listening  
I will lift you off your feet  
And keep you from sinking_

Across town, Angel lay on his back in a musty room with heavy blankets thrown over the windows. His eyes moved rapidly beneath his eyelids in sleep. His brows were pushed together almost in concentration.

_It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. His only love, bathed in sunlight, golden hair forming a halo around her angelic face. She turned and saw him, walking toward her under the sun. She melted into his arms and the kiss they shared was incredible. He felt the combined warmth of her and the sun's happy rays envelope him. Finally. Finally, things were right._

_Don't you wake up yet  
Cause soon I'll be leaving you  
Soon I'll be leaving you  
But you won't be leaving me_


End file.
